The Reason He Gave Up
by Demon-Angel-Princess
Summary: Did you ever think Karma's battle with Nagisa seemed... Weird? This is the true story behind that battle, the true reason Nagisa won, the true reason Karma lost the fight, the true reason Karma gave up. (Karmagisa)


**The Reason He Gave Up**

Karma watched Nagisa warily, taking in all of his movements, making sure he missed nothing. Of course, he could win easily, but...

He tried to convince himself it was because no one would accept him as their leader, especially if he beat on of their "best" assassins without breaking a sweat.

He tried to convince himself it was because he had grown to love the octopus, and didn't want to be the one to land the killing blow.

He tried to convince himself it was because he had no choice but to give in-no one would accept a delinquent as a hero.

He tried to convince himself it was anything but the truth, because that could not be the truth. If it was the truth, it would break him, and he couldn't withstand the pain that would attack him.

It was not the truth.

It couldn't be the truth.

He was not in love with Shiota Nagisa, and he would never love Nagisa in any way that was not platonic, because he was a guy, and guys do not love guys, it was wrong and he was best friends with him, and he couldn't, wouldn't ruin that friendship because of a stupid little crush that would pass with time and he was not in love with his best friend dammit!

"Karma! Give up! You know you cannot win, and I don't want us to part with bad blood!" Nagisa said, looking at him desperately, with his blue eyes glowing with pain at fighting his friend. (Karma thought he looked adorable, and would have loved to kiss him into oblivion but they were just friends and he did not like his best friend so he had to pay attention to the fight and pretend, once again that it did not pain him, in the slightest, to stay friends and nothing more...)

"Nagisa, I'm afraid I can't do that~. You won't be able to kill Koro-sensei~!" Karma replied, a plan forming in his mind. It was a terrible one, and it would destroy his reputation, but he couldn't stand hurting Nagisa. He would lose the fight, while making it look like Nagisa won fairly. He would take a step back, and slide into the shadows, giving Nagisa free reign over the leadership of Class 3-E.

However, when it came time to assassinate Koro-sensei, he would step in and "suggest" a plan. And at the first sign Nagisa gave of not being able to kill their teacher, he would land the final blow. Koro-sensei's blood would be on his hands, and the guilt would scar him inside, but he couldn't let Nagisa carry his burden for him.

No one knew this, and he swore no one ever would, but Koro-sensei once approached him and asked him to promise to, if any had to pull the trigger, and they did, it would be him, and not any of the others, especially as they were still innocent. He already had a hard life, and has seen many bad things-the reason why Koro-sensei wanted him to be the one to kill him. (What he didn't know was that Koro-sensei worried over him a lot. The scar of a murder would stay with him forever, and Koro-sensei cursed himself for putting that burden on one of his student's, his children's, shoulders.)

When he zoned back in to the fight, he was just in time, as Nagisa had lunged forward, coiling up like the snake he was. Karma could easily dodge it, but he wouldn't, he would make it look like Nagisa had caught him off guard, like Nagisa actually wounded him.

He fell back from the force of the hit, landing harshly on the ground. Dimly, he could he Class 3-E cheering at the good attack (and no one but himself knew how much it hurt to hear his classmates, his friends, clapping and laughing as he fell back; how badly it hurt to hear just how clearly they all hated him, how badly they wanted him gone).

This time, when Nagisa attacked for the last time, Karma tried to roll out of the was halfheartedly, but was "too slow," and Nagisa (with his blue eyes burning, and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, and oh, how Karma just wanted kiss him but couldn't) punched on him, holding his knife top his neck, symbolizing his defeat, his "death."

As everyone started cheering, Karma could do nothing but lay there, limp, and stare into Nagisa's blue, blue eyes, and drown in his pain, finally realizing he would never be anything else to him but a friend, and his heart broke in two, and he just couldn't take it, but then Nagisa was talking and he had to listen to hear more of the melodious voice that haunted his dreams-

"Karma, I won. We'll do this my way, got it?" Nagisa hissed, looking like the snake that he really is, and Karma could do nothing but take a deep breath as he realized the damn truth.

He was in love with his best friend.

He couldn't stand to hurt his friend.

He wouldn't hurt his friend.

That was the reason Karma lost to Nagisa, because he couldn't stand hurting the one he loved. He would rather suffer, and ruin his reputation, and slip back into the shadows, but he wouldn't, couldn't hurt his best friend (and never anything else).

Taking a deep breath, Karma swallowed the sobs building in his throat back, and said, "Yeah, whatever..."

This was the reason he lost.

(He loved him too damn much...)

This was the real reason Karma gave up.


End file.
